She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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