I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
