He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
its not stalking. its research.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
