I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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