i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
