Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
