Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
