I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
