Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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