Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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