did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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