the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Damn victory sex feels great
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
