Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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