peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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