you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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