I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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