My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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