i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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