his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
