Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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