I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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