OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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