Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
