after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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