it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
