new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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