she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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