I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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