My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
