Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place