I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.