It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE