I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again