he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
