i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have post one night stand depression
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