she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
