I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
