You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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