I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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