He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
