Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
