i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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