okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am one with the molecules
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
