I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
