??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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