Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
