you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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