i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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