I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I still have a little drunk in my system
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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