Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
