I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
