p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
