somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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