Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
