I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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