she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My breasts were aching with rage.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
