Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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