Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
